Warning Labels

I have always thought there were too many warning labels. If you are brilliant enough to use a hair dryer in the bathtub I think you deserve an eye opening experience courtesy of electricity.

A wise person told me that we should remove warning labels and weed out the population. Those using a lawnmower to cut their own hair and other similar ingenious ideas would get no cautions. Granted her favorite animal was a cute fluffy Great White Shark, so her mental process might be slightly skewed in the direction of carnage. The Calculus Fairy told me happiness is two fistfuls of double-barreled carnage. Maybe I need to rethink my acquaintances, oh, and a shotgun chainsaw combo works well too. You can pick them up at S-Mart in the housewares department.

One warning sorely missed still confuses me as to its absence. At a local campus, there is a large fake waterfall. Designed to be as realistic as possible with various rocks and styles, well, as realistic as you can make a waterfall made of concrete rocks. What could possibly be dangerous about a fake waterfall, especially since I am not planning on using a hair dryer while inside.

I was just relaxing at a table reading near the landscaped waterfall and trees. The only danger I could have imagined was rabid squirrels or even worse, rabid gardeners.

Suddenly I hear an explosion, whipping my head around to see a huge blast of water going into the air. Unfortunately, it was not long before the water remembered gravity and completely drenched a person sitting nearby. I could not see where the blast had come from, and it seemed highly unlikely this was an intended function of the nice peaceful waterfall.

I wonder if S-Mart sells waterfalls.

If Ash were allowed to ride it
|
V